Bartholomew is the writer monkey. All hail the writer monkey.
The buffalo lofted majestically to the cavern floor, and approached Daphne.
“I just came in from Detroit, and boy are my wings tired,” he said.
Before Daphne could reply, the buffalo turned his head, and his eyes widened in horror.
“Where have wings gone?” He cried.
…and for a moment, I wondered if she was Death and meant to make a deal with me. Then she held it out for me to touch, as if it were a toy and if I were good for Christmas, I could have one too.
I can hear our mother already, if she’d been there. “You ain’t nothin’ but the devil.” That’s what she’d have said. But I hate that certainty in her, and always have. To her, Arty just gets to go to heaven sooner. Church has never given me that confidence, so I followed the woman with the skeleton arm…
People are apparently snorting condoms up their noses. En mass.
I do not often pass judgement on the newfangled young. I have chosen to make an exception, because Sweet Mother of Slendy, that’s stupid. Know, however, that when one of these kids snorts a condom up their nose and then pulls it out their hind end, I will be impressed.
As in, an impression will have been made on me. That may have already happened. I can’t be sure. I sure hope not.
My job at White Cat Publications has compelled me to explain Twitter to one of the authors there. He wants to use it as a promotional tool, which is understandable, but it’s not really geared for that. Fill someone’s twitter feed with spam and you’ll just get unfollowed by everyone except the other people there who don’t care about genuine communication and then you’re just tweeting into the void again.
It’s more comparable to a chat room, except the US president and William Shatner are both there, along with every single Swede. Oh, and Google caches it. So there’s tons and tons of access to people, as long as you have something to say besides “I AM HAVE THE SWAG Y U NO BUY IT [LINK] #MYPRODUCT.”
Chat rooms are more interactive, though. Where else do people write pithy one liners, phone numbers you’ll never call, and cryptic, undecipherable messages?
Twitter is the bathroom stall of the internet.
Implication: Jerry wants to give you bathroom cookies.
The rocket pleases us. Yes, yes it does.
Whew. Life settled a bit, so I could give the text more thought.
Writing here to test and see where my blog posts are going. They seem to be getting eaten!
The website’s undergoing some maintenance while the word monkey derps around behind the curtain. Thanks!
I made Zach draw a comic in two hours, after we saw an episode of Strip Search where the contestants had to produce a comic in ONE hour.
Tycho and Gabe would have put this comic in a blender, or set it on fire–or something. That said, we were both still happy with it.
That’s TJ as Empress Wu Zetian, and Shoe as Ghengis Khan.
China is fucking OP in Civ 5.
Settlers shitting bricks was funnier. We play with a lot of mods, and apparently this wasn’t the average Civ player’s experience.